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Myths about the Secret Committee

What is the Secret Committee?

It is said that great wisdom on motorcycle rides, routes and accommodations exudes from the brain trust that makes up the secret committee. In 2013, we also learned that the committee wheels great power in motorcycle selection, rider invitations and deposit ratings. 

Favorite Communications from the Secret Committee:

Much like the rule of Blackbeard the Pirate aboard his ship, occasionally the Secret Committee must resort to barbaric tactics to rid the crew from rogue riders that repeatedly promote mutiny. Like cutting off the head of a snake or prodding the pirate at cutlass point off the plank, mutiny will receive a swift and terminable sentence.

The Secret Committee en banc…

It is the long established policy of the Secret Committee that it does not entertain route, destination, dining options, attractions choices, rider invitations or date suggestions from riders......

Chairman of the Secret Committee


It has come to the attention of the committee that various Hogs & Swines

members have been indiscreet in their attempt to compensate for inadequate

performance by their NON-sport/touring bikes. This has manifested itself in

the use of excessive speed in vain attempts to 'match' the efficiency in

acceleration, passing and cornering performance which are natural features

of high performance German, Italian and Japanese motorcycles and basically

any bike except Harleys. While the committee is not bias nor prejudice in

favor of any brand, and can understand the desire of NON-sport/touring bike

owners to share the same exhilaration as the other more enlightened members,

it has identified a pattern of blatant lawlessness among the

NON-sport/touring riders that has caused the Supreme Council to commission a subcommittee to study rider safety and equipment selection. Of course Mr.

Parsons can fully brief the members on new bike selection criterion utilized

by the secret committee. The data from the subcommittee study has revealed:

Since the secret committee granted itself a charter as the one true supreme

council of all decisions governing Hogs and Swines affairs, (i) all law

enforcement excessive speed citations on 'official' rides have been received

by non-sport/touring riders including and dating back to the Deals Gap

citation received by Mr. R. Moore (on a Harley- caused by undue interference

with law enforcement by Hog rider Mr. Satterfield), two Harley riders attempting a pass at excessive speed in front of a trooper (Scott and Jeff), and (ii) all fender

benders of significance caused by grassy knolls (Kevin)and guard rails (Jeff) have

involved non-sport/touring bikes. In recognition of the foregoing, the

safety and equipment subcommittee is issuing an edict prohibiting any

speeding by non-sport/touring bike riders and further ordering that all new

equipment approvals must be vetted by the committee using its 'water park'

validation procedures (please ask Mr. Parson for clarification). Further

all sport/touring bike riders are immediately commanded to provide

'shushing' to all Hogs whenever necessary to keep Hog riders from exceeding

lawful speed limits and otherwise maintain their rightful position in the

rear of the line to allow greater safety for the group.


“ The secret committee therefor needs no input, accepts no input and considers all input and suggestions as interference with the order of the universe. So those of you who are interfering with the order of the universe, quit screwing with it lest to you find yourselves staring into the great abyss as you get sucked into the black hole which is the wrath of the secret committee. ”

Rider Quotes About the Secret Committee:

“ Dear Secret Committee,

I have learned to keep my mouth shut and hope for the best. ”

Like Chairman Mau, Pol Pot, Joseph Stalin, and Fidel Castro once concluded, the secret committee so too wisely concluded that there is no room for feedback nor participation by the uninformed masses in decision making..... ”

*****A rare peak at the Secret Committee in Action*****